Episode Number: 81
Title: "'Make Love To' Berto"
Recorded: 4 January 2008
Run Time: 2:51:47
File Size: 80.6 MB
This week featured a 2007 version of "Name That Douche" SYN.
- While Ann Coulter and Tim Hardaway tried to compete with me for the 2007 gay-bashing award, I buried them both with my tirade on my fellow Grey's Anatomy star T. R. Knight, outing him and repeatedly calling him a faggot. Who am I?
- No one tempts the law like me. After writing a book that all but confesses to the murder I commited from years past, I followed up with a third-rate burglary attempt. If history repeats itself, you can look for another 20 MPH white bronco chase to mexico. Who am I?
- Before me, the word Astronaut used to conjure up images of Neil Armstrong's moon walk. But thanks to me, you can now picture a deranged, diaper-wearing, BB gun-toting lovesick lunatic. Who am I?
- I am an Ontario based company that manufactures pet food for 17 of the top 20 north american retailes and 5 of the 6 top branded north american companies. We felt early in 2007 that it wouldn't be a problem to include the same chemicals used in rat poison and some fertilizer in our food. I guess Pebbles the Yorkshire Terrier didn't feel the same way. What am I?
- It's hard to fuck up when you are dead, but I was surrounded by losers this year claiming to be the father of my child. Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead and O.J. to name a few. It is just a shame the whole thing made Judge Larry Seidlin cry. Who am I?
- I am zeroing in on a long standing record for vacation days. Before me, the Gipper set the bar at 436 days, but as I speak I have already taken 70 vacations, and during a war no less. Plus I still have a year to go. Who am I?
- People didn't think it possible to have a worse U.S. Attorney General than John Ashcroft. I proved them wrong. I was a puppet of G-Dub and was responsible for firing U.S. Attorneys and replacing them with other G-Dub puppets. In addition to my perjury about that act, I also lied when I said I wouldn't retire, which I did on September 17th. Who am I?
- Even though I was a Senator and an upstanding member of the "family values" crowd, that didn't stop me from trying to get busy with another guy in a Minneapolis Airport bathroom. Who knew that it would be an undercover cop?? Who am I?
- While I am not a person per se, I am named after an army surgeon who confirmed that yellow fever is transmitted my mosquitos. The patient neglect scandal surrounding me resulted in the firing of George W. Weightman, the resignation of Secretary of the Army Francis J. Harvey and the forced resignation of Lt. Gen. Kevin C. Kiley. What am I?
- As if I couldn't get any freakier, I felt the need to raise the bar with my antics. Who else would you expect to mix their father's cremains with cocaine and snort them? Who am I?
- In years past my deplorable and unwatchable antics were limited to the stage, but this was a stellar year for me in humiliation. I think my peak was my flabby, stretchmarked, bikini-clad performance at the VMA's. Who am I?
- If you can't beat science, ignore it completely! I am the 2007-established public center located in Petersburg, KY. I am probably the only place where you can see a man riding bareback on a dinosaur, except of course on a rerun of The Flintstones. What am I?
- As a company, the shit really hit the fan this year as we needed to recall millions of hazardous chinese-made toys. I guess it should be no surprise that sweatshop-produced Tickle-me-Elmos and Thomas the Tank Engines would tend to have sweatshop-grade quality control. What am I?
- While I am only 21, I have been in more than a dozen movies, and almost as many car accidents and rehab programs! Maybe it's just the liquor talking, but I think I am on the road to superstardom! Who am I?
- Some think of me as the indian version of Michael Jackson. Of course, most of those people are my family. My tone deaf antics on American Idol make William Hung sound like Josh Groban. Who am I?
- I am possibly the most hated man in America. As if my dog fighting wasn't bad enough, I took it a step further by drowning and electrocuting the losing dogs. It's a shame the NFL doesn't have a similar policy for losing quarterbacks. Who am I?
- I am the ultimate dumb blonde joke. Among other things, I have earned the name "Inmate 9818783", though it wasn't because of the real crime, my CD. While in prison I found Jesus, probably the only man I haven't boned. Who am I?
- I am a professional loudmouth. I have a well-documented history of making racist and homophobic remarks, but my crack about the Rutgers women's basketball team cost me my job. Who am I?
- I am actually a TV-series, and a legendarily overrated on at that. This year I enjoyed fucking with people with my cut-to-black, "ungrand unfinale". Did Tony get whacked or not. I'll never tell! What am I?
- It's good to have friends in high places! Even after my naming of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame, ending her career and endangering her life, G-Dub had my back and commuted my 30-month sentence for perjury and obstruction of justice. Who am I?
- Isaiah Washington
- O. J. Simpson
- Lisa Marie Nowak
- Menu Foods Limited
- Anna Nicole Smith
- George H. W. Bush
- Alberto Gonzales
- Larry Craig
- Walter Reed Army Medical Center
- Keith Richards
- Britney Spears
- The Creation Museum
- Lindsay Lohan
- Sanjaya Malakar
- Michael Vick
- Paris Hilton
- Don Imus
- The Sopranos
- I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby
- Coming Soon.
"(HFSIB) 3 Awful Years" Track Breakdown
- Coming Soon.